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Sun, Sand, Stars and Dreams

The chronicles of a misfit Indian teen

Month

July 2014

True dreams, passion, do they exist in India?

IndiSpire EDITION #22
Born in India? Are you an Engineer or a doctor? True dreams, passion, do they exist? Are they being chased by this generation?

I remember the day I told my parents that I did not want to be either an engineer or a doctor. The resounding chaos and the shouting match that followed made it seem like I had committed a heinous crime and was sentenced to death.
All of this coming from a supposedly well-educated family.
I wanted to go for law. But, somehow, my parents were against that as well. Their argument being that I had taken science at school and so I had to be either an engineer or a doctor.
Finally, I managed to mellow them down and they agreed. But, getting into the prestigious NLUs weren’t fated for me. I missed my flight and couldn’t write the entrance.
Then again, they latched back in to the idea of me going for engineering.
I refused and finally managed to get into quite a good college for a bachelor’s in business.
Although there are still instances when my mum resents my choice of a major, it has quietened down a lot.
I got to choose my major by being firm and stubborn. Even if it was my second choice. Plus there is the fact that I can always opt for a three year law degree after my bachelor’s in business.
A lot of my friends did not even have the freedom for that.
There was this extremely talented classmate of mine who had wanted to go for fashion designing but is now stuck doing something like Electronics Engineering.
That is the reality of India. Or rather Indians.
It seems like everyone in India does what they actually wanted to do, only after getting an engineering degree. And after realising that the engineering field is not exactly a bed of roses or everyone’s cup if tea.

But, the good part is that at least a chunk of the young adults out there do go on to chase their dreams and pursue their passion, even if it is after studying engineering for four years only for the parent-pleasing aspect.
And also to avoid the drama about how you wasted your life and treaded the dark path only ’cause you didn’t go for either medicine or engineering. (Drama courtesy: Desi Aunties mainly)
It gets worse when you are a South Indian with extreme intellectuals in your family. So-and-so’s daughter is doing her doctorate in cardio-vascular shiz at Oxford. Why can’t you? Or some obscure Mani Uncle’s son (whom I have never met or even knew that they existed) is doing MS in Harvard. So, why can’t you?

Why can’t I? It is not that I am a simpleton. Or an yiddiiot.
It is just that I am not interested. I love something else. And I am interested in it. I’ll put my heart and soul into it. It’ll be with me day in and day out. I’ll breathe it, I’ll live it. It is my dream, my life, my ambition. And I’ll try to achieve it. Even if it is the last thing that I do.
But, unfortunately, it may not be valued by Indians ’cause it is not either engineering or medicine.

Dreams, disappointments and life changing events.

Hi! I’m alive!
*pokes head out, peering from behind a rock*
The past two months have been some of the most hectic and most boring ones too!
Quite a lot of things happened in my life, things that totally changed it.

I’ve moved back to India and I’ve joined a college here. I’d dreamt of going to law school right after graduating from high school, but I missed a flight and wasn’t able to write the entrance exam to the top law schools in India.

A missed flight may sound trivial, but when the next flight is only on the day after, and you’ve missed one of the most important exams of your life, the one exam which had the power to make or break your career, then there is nothing worse than a missed flight.
And the fact that I hadn’t really missed a flight before this, coupled with my parents scolding me for being so unorganised and the thought that I had let them down, and the fact that my dream of the past three years had absolutely no chance of coming true, was a blow too hard for me to bear. Also, there was an added factor, I was moving out of that one place I called home. Leaving most of my friends. (Okay! So most of them were also leaving to other places.) But, it was more like moving out of my comfort zone into the big bad world.

I feel back into depression. I did not eat for a whole day and slept continuously, locking myself up in my room, least interested in anything, having lost the desire to live.
I didn’t really come out of depression, but I pretended to be happy, only to please my parents, because I felt bad for putting them under pressure as well.
They asked me about my back up plan for college. But, the truth was that I didn’t have any, ’cause I had been so sure of getting into law school.
On the spur of the moment, I blurted out that I wanted to do an undergraduate degree in business.
I managed to get a 93% in the CBSE Class 12th boards. (How? I still have no idea, seeing that I wrote my math exam with barely a half an hour’s sleep the previous night and yet managed to score a 95 on 100)

By virtue of my good marks (and more so because of the influence of my late grandfather’s powerful friends) I managed to get into the best college in my state and one of the best in India.
My parents were dead against the idea of me living in residence, probably because they were afraid that my unnatural side might turn up again.

I haven’t really made a lot of friends, although I did make a lot of acquaintances. I’m afraid of letting anyone get close because of certain experiences in the past.

Am I happy? I don’t really know. I just continue living. I might have another chance at getting into law school after graduation, but not into the place I’d longed for. Somewhere better, perhaps. I don’t really know.

P. S. I’m awfully sorry that I didn’t post for a while. All these depressing problems, combined with moving and no Internet.
I promise I’ll post regularly from now on. 🙂
I heard that readership decreases if posts are irregular. Please don’t desert me guys! 😛

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